Confusing the Enemy

Paraducers have nothing except what you give them, Producer. They mine nothing from the earth, harvest nothing from agriculture, create no new useful thoughts, innovations or information. But with the information they collect about your behavior, they manipulate your life.

Therefore, a good way to frustrate the Paraducers is to deny them the information they so need to weasel their way into your life.

For example, we fill out online forms almost daily in the conduct of our Producing activities. Some of those forms are for one-time accesses to web sites, and some are for more permanent uses, like online banking. Picture yourself leaving a trail of personal information through life.

There is no need for you to give out your real name to some sports web site that demands you register. You have no idea how that information will be used. Even if it is not attached to your social security number or bank account number, such a trail of crumbs can be correlated by a computer program to determine all sorts of things about you, including your buying habits and personal health.

I often have registered with web sites using the bogus email address billgates@microsoft.com. The funny thing is, more often than not, the web site refuses my registration complaining “that user ID is taken”!

I am very careful about the information trail I leave in cyberspace and you should be, too. Even small issues, like entering your mother’s maiden name on a web site as a password hint, can be potentially damaging. There are mutual fund families that will perform online trades and give account balances over the telephone with only your name and your mother’s maiden name.

A friend was in the grocery and was asked if he would like the senior citizen discount. He’s only about 50, so declined, a little miffed. The cashier was embarrassed, so she entered the discount into the computer anyway as a courtesy, but the computer would not take it. Seems that the grocery computer had matched my friend’s discount card with his birthday, which he had never put on the application form. We have to be very careful.

Beyond caution, Producers must either be silent to market research and polling, or provide information that guides the Paraducers in the direction we want, or no direction at all. I love taking those poll and telemarketing calls, though they have been reduced since the national Do Not Call registry went into operation. It’s difficult to know what answers to give to elicit a certain response, so I make up answers on the fly.

“Good evening, Sir. My name is Cyndie from MegaClearSuperLite Windows and Doors and we would like to give you a free quote on new windows for your house. Would you like a free quote with a complementary 90% discount for taking my phone call?”

“Sorry, Cyndie, but my house does not have windows.”

(long pause)

“No windows?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, thank you. (click)”

(A Paraducer in New York City just popped a vein in the middle of that last paragraph. Yes, it seems petty, spoofing your silly polls and telemarketing calls, but if you want information from us, you are going to have to pay for it!)

When my kids were only a few years old, my wife went away for the weekend and left me on urchin duty. It was Saturday at about noon, and I was doing my best to juggle a boiling pan of noodles (macaroni and cheese – what else?), one screaming girl, and the other who was whining for lunch. The phone rang and when I answered it there was that telltale telemarketing delay, while the computer connected the call. I was not in a good mood.

            Me: “Hello?”

            Caller: “May I speak to Mr. Wallace please?”

            Me: “Nope.”

            Caller: “Uh, this is Bob Smith calling for Mr. Wallace. Please let me speak to him.”

            Me: “Yes, I know. I have a memo here from Mr. Wallace: ‘Do not accept calls from Bob Smith.’”

            Caller: “What???”

            Me: “Sorry, that’s what the memo says.”

After more banter and incredulity, the fellow hung up. Ten minutes later, the phone rang again. Same guy.

            Me: “Hello?”

            Caller: “May I speak to Mr. Wallace please?”

            Me (disgusted): “Speaking.”

            Caller: “YOU ARE NOT MR. WALLACE! PUT MR. WALLACE ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!”

Seems I became a victim of my own scam. Mr. Smith would not tell me why he called!

Perhaps you don’t have the mean streak I do, and I hope you don’t. If you simply hang up on the telemarketers you’ll be saving a hard working college student some hassle.

Away from the phone, being silent to market research is difficult when you use credit cards and personal checks. Cash is the ultimate anonymous payment system, and when you have the choice, use it.

Let’s not get wacky, here. I’m not suggesting that you start hoarding canned goods as some did before Y2K. We’re not seceding from society to the security of our Idaho ranch. We’re simply manipulating to our benefit the information we give to the diffuse group of Paraducers.

Disney theme parks recently began scanning fingers as a way to identify customers ^[28]. This activity has outraged some civil liberties advocates who are crying for a cessation of the practice. Disney is not scanning fingerprints, but rather the characteristic details of a couple fingers, details that are unique from individual to individual. Presumably they can match a customer with ticket purchase details, many of which are made using credit cards.

What should Producers do who don’t want their theme park preferences bonded to their credit histories? Just don’t go to Disney theme parks. That’s pretty simple. America is a huge country. Get outside and see the real America, not something contrived in Hollywood. Or, wear a condom over that finger!